Defining the Problem
Addiction a way of escaping. Some common forms of escape include alcohol, drugs, sex, creating chaos or drama, gambling, gaming, shopping, exercise and eating. You can be addicted to any of these, or you may just use them to occasionally escape. Please realize that any behavior that helps you escape could become addictive.
You may have spent so much time trying to figure out how to get the substance, getting the substance and recovering from the substance that you formed a relationship with the addictive behavior. Remember your first love? How you felt the butterflies in your stomach and excitement when she or he would walk in the room? How he or she was all you could think about all day? How your day was planned around trying to spend as much time with the person as possible? In a normal relationship when this preoccupation started interfering with other areas of your life, you would be able to refocus your attention and take care of business. In an addiction, you cannot get refocused in one or more areas of your life because of your preoccupation (obsession) with the addiction. When you began to have major problems in your life as a result of the escape or addictive behavior, but continued to use anyway, you had developed an addiction
If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you may have an addiction.
- Have you tried to cut down and failed?
- Do you need more of the same substance or activity or need to combine substances or activities to get the same high?
- Do you spend more time than intended thinking about, preparing for and/or recovering from using the substance or engaging in the behavior?
- Have you spend more money than intended on the substance or behavior?
- Have you neglected other areas of your life (hobbies, family, work, finances) for the substance or behavior?
- Do you continue to engage in the behavior even though it has directly or indirectly caused you multiple problems (health, relationship, financial, legal, work etc.)
Activity: Defining Addiction
Complete the activity below for each of the addictive or escape behavior you identified. Note: If you have been in jail or in a hospital, use the 6-months before being confined.
I have used more than intended, spent more money than intended or spent more time than intended engaging in this behavior.
Examples of how this is true for you over the last 6 months
I have been unsuccessful at stopping or significantly reducing my use of this behavior.
Examples of how this is true for you over the last 6 months
My tolerance has increased. I have needed more of the same substance or activity or have started combining substances or activities to get the same high.
Examples of how this is true for you over the last 6 months
In the past 6 months I have engaged in risky behaviors to get the substance, engage in the activity or increase the “rush.”
Examples of how this is true for you over the last 6 months
In the past 6 months I have spent more time than intended thinking about use, planning to use, using or recovering from this behavior.
Examples of how this is true for you over the last 6 months
In the past six months I have been spending more time engaging in this behavior and less time with friends, family, in work or school activities or pursuing interests.
Examples of how this is true for you over the last 6 months
In the past six months I have experienced emotional or physical issues because of using or withdrawing from use.
Examples of how this is true for you over the last 6 months
You may try to rationalize that you are “fine” because you are not using your drug or activity of choice. My response is usually, “You are right. You are F.I.N.E. (F***ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional) You are in early recovery. What I want to know is if you are dealing with all of that, or just avoiding it by some other means.”
If you are addicted to one thing, and stop doing it without addressing whatever it is you were trying to escape from (anger, resentment, depression, grief, loss, low self-esteem, unhealthy relationships…), then you will likely simply choose another addiction–chaotic relationships, sex, food, smoking etc. You are starting to feel something and may think you need to distract yourself. As is often said, “One of the best things about recovery is that you start to feel things again. One of the worst things about recovery is that you start to feel things again.”