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Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery
Improving Self Esteem
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs
Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox & Happiness isn’t Brain Surgery
Author: Journey to Recovery (2015) & Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery (2017)

Objectives
~ The Nature of Self-Esteem
~ Why improve self esteem
~ Identifying and Disarming the Critic
~ Creating an Accurate Self Assessment
~ Identifying Cognitive Distortions
~ Developing Compassion
~ Shaking the Shoulds
~ Handling Mistakes
~ Responding to Criticism
~ Goal Setting
~ Core Beliefs
~ Building Self Esteem in Children
The Nature of Self-Esteem
~ How you feel about yourself in contrast to who you think you “should” be
~ Self Esteem is formed and altered in each interaction based on
~ Cognitive interpretation (or distortion)
~ Cognitive availability (what is memorable)
~ Attributions (Global negative are the worst)
~ Children think in all or nothing terms and need help addressing attributions.
~ Conditions of worth

The Nature of Self-Esteem
~ The more rejecting we are of ourselves, the more
~ Distress we experience
~ We seek external validation
~ In order to develop healthy relationships people need to feel good about themselves
Why Improve It
~ People with high self esteem
~ Love themselves and others for who they are, even if they don’t like certain behaviors or are not perfect
~ Do not “have” to be in a relationship to prove their worth or constantly have reassurance from others
~ Feel secure in relationships. Do not fear abandonment
~ Tend to be in healthier (give and take) relationships
~ Are able to set (and maintain) boundaries
~ Feel more self-aware and confident in their abilities
~ Are better able to handle failures and rejection
~ Tend to focus on their strengths and the positives
~ Experience fewer stress related illnesses, anxiety and depression

 

Summary
~ Self esteem develops. You are not born with it.
~ There are many benefits to self-esteem including improved mood, relationships and health for yourself and to serve as a model for others.
~ Low self esteem develops as a result of many factors.
~ Developing higher self esteem means addressing each of these factors.
~ Make a list of all of the reasons you want to improve your self esteem
Connect With Us

Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery
Improving Self Esteem
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs
Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox & Happiness isn’t Brain Surgery
Author: Journey to Recovery (2015) & Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery (2017)

 

The Pathological Critic
~ Arsenal of shoulds
~ Origin of the Critic: Conditions of Worth
~ Why you listen to the critic
~ Catching your critic
~ Unmasking his/her purpose and voice
~ Talking back
Summary
~ Developing self esteem means
~ Silencing the inner bully (critic)
~ Being compassionate with yourself
~ Recognizing everyone has strengths and weaknesses
~ Eliminating conditions of worth
~ Addressing cognitive distortions and global, negative attributions (“I am…” statements)
Connect With Us

Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery
Improving Self Esteem
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs
Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox & Happiness isn’t Brain Surgery
Author: Journey to Recovery (2015) & Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery (2017)

Accurate Self-Assessment
~ Self-Concept inventory
~ Listing your strengths and weaknesses
~ Developing a new self-description
~ Celebrating your strengths
Core Beliefs
~ Identifying Core Beliefs
~ Developing new core beliefs
Cognitive Distortions
~ The Distortions and Combating Them
~ Magnification/Exaggeration
~ All or Nothing
~ Availability Phenomenon
~ Emotional Reasoning
~ Overgeneralization (Global Attribution)
~ Mental Filter
~ Personalization and Blaming (Global Attribution)
~ Global Labeling (Global Attribution)

Summary
~ Accurate self assessment is necessary to form the foundation of self esteem
~ Recognizing why you are lovable
~ Celebrate your strengths
~ Identify goals worth working on
~ Cognitive distortions lead to negative interpretations of events.
~ Walk the middle path
~ Examine the evidence
Connect With Us

Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery
Improving Self Esteem
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs
Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox & Happiness isn’t Brain Surgery
Author: Journey to Recovery (2015) & Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery (2017)

Compassion

~ Compassion defined
~ Creating a compassionate world
~ The problem of worth
~ Developing compassion for others
The Shoulds
~ How values are formed
~ The tyranny of should
~ Healthy vs. Unhealthy values
~ How should affects your self esteem
~ Challenging and revising your shoulds
~ Atonement—When shoulds make sense
Summary
~ Accurate self assessment is necessary to form the foundation of self esteem
~ Recognizing why you are lovable
~ Celebrate your strengths
~ Identify goals worth working on
~ Cognitive distortions lead to negative interpretations of events.
~ Walk the middle path
~ Examine the evidence
Connect With Us

Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery
Improving Self Esteem
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs
Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox & Happiness isn’t Brain Surgery
Author: Journey to Recovery (2015) & Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery (2017)

Handling Mistakes
~ Reframing mistakes
~ The problem of awareness
~ Raising your mistake consciousness
Responding to Criticism
~ The myth of reality
~ Responding to criticism
~ Putting it all together

Asking for What You Want
~ Legitimate needs
~ Needs vs. wants
~ Wants inventory
~ Wants into words
~ Whole messages
Goal Setting and Planning
~ What do you want
~ Selecting goals
~ Making your goals SMART
~ Making a commitment
~ Blocks to achieving goals
Building Self-Esteem in Children
~ The power of parents
~ Parents as mirrors
~ Look at your child
~ Listening
~ The language of self-esteem
~ Discipline
~ Autonomy
~ Modeling self-esteem
Summary
~ Self esteem begins in childhood
~ It is imperative to help people separate strengths and weaknesses from who they are
~ Self loathing and rejection contributes to unhappinessw
~ Part of self esteem development includes
~ Values identification
~ Understanding wants vs. needs
~ Addressing cognitive distortions