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Raising a Happy Child
Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes LPC-MHSP
Executive Director, DocSnipes.com
Podcast Host: Happiness Isn’t Brain Surgery and Counselor Toolbox
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Help them develop an emotional vocabulary
~ Develop self-awareness, mindfulness and psychological flexibility
~ Develop empathy and compassion for self and others
~ Develop self-esteem and self-confidence
~ Educate about unhelpful thoughts
~ Educate about hardiness
~ Develop good vulnerability prevention habits
~ Teach about distress tolerance Accepts and Improves
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Help them develop an emotional vocabulary
~ Develop self-awareness, mindfulness and psychological flexibility
~ Develop empathy and compassion for self and others
~ Develop self-esteem and self-confidence
~ Educate about unhelpful thoughts
~ Educate about hardiness
~ Develop good vulnerability prevention habits
~ Teach about distress tolerance Accepts and Improves
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Help them develop an emotional vocabulary
~ Develop self-awareness, mindfulness and psychological flexibility
~ Develop empathy and compassion for self and others
~ Develop self-esteem and self-confidence
~ Educate about unhelpful thoughts
~ Educate about hardiness
~ Develop good vulnerability prevention habits
~ Teach about distress tolerance Accepts and Improves
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Help them develop an emotional vocabulary
~ Emotions chart for mindfulness as well as when discussing issues.. “How did you feel when your sister broke your toy?”
~ Make a list of things that make you feel….
~ Parent print our pictures of those things for a collage
~ Older kids can do a clip-art collage
~ Draw a picture of 3 things that make you feel…
~ Have the child spend 20 minutes each day writing or drawing about
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Develop self-awareness, mindfulness
~ Do a check-in at breakfast and dinner to identify how the child feels and what he needs…
~ Start teaching about mindfulness and monkey mind. When children can’t concentrate have them complete the Monkey Mind Worksheet
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Develop empathy and compassion for self and others
~ Different and Similar
~ Helping Others Feel Better
~ 1. How can you know how someone else feels?
~ Possible answers: Listen to what they say, ask them how they feel, look closely at their face and body, watch what they do
~ 2. How can we recognize when another child is feeling bad or left out?
~ Possible answers: Making a sad face, not laughing when others laugh, crying, not looking at anyone, playing alone
~ 3. How can we cheer up children who feel bad and help them feel better?
~ Possible answers: Pay attention to them, pat them on the back, ask them if they’d like to play with you
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Develop empathy and compassion for self and others
~ Teach love languages
~ Service
~ Words of affirmation
~ Gifts
~ Quality time
~ Physical Touch
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Develop empathy and compassion for self and others
~ Evaluate expectations
~ Of self
~ Of others
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Develop self-esteem and self-confidence
~ Praise the child often for being an awesome person
~ Separate choices and behaviors from the person
~ Encourage and support the child in exploration
~ Create an All About Me scrapbook
~ Talents, Things that Make Me Awesome, Good Things I Did This Week (to highlight the preponderance of good choices)
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Educate about unhelpful thoughts
~ All or Nothing
~ What are the exceptions? (Everybody does it…)
~ Personalization
~ What are some other explanations? (Sally bit my head off then didn’t sit with me at lunch)
~ Whose responsibility is it? (Sally got mad when I wouldn’t let her copy)
~ Emotional Reasoning
~ What are the facts for and against? (She hates me…)
~ Magnification
~ How likely is it that the worst thing will happen? (BFF gone forever after a fight)
~ Control Fallacy
~ What parts of this can you control? (BFF is being mean)
~ Tunnel vision
~ What else contributed to this? (Failing a test)
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Educate about hardiness
~ Commitment: What parts of your life are good and rewarding
~ Keep a gratitude scrapbook. Each week add a page “3 Things I am grateful for this week”
~ Control: What parts can you control?
~ Challenge
~ Control the monkey mind
~ Solve the problem in the best possible way
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Develop good vulnerability prevention habits
~ Sleep
~ Nutrition
~ Staying healthy
~ Exercise
~ Environment
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Teach about distress tolerance (picture lists, having things handy (movies, coloring books, beachballs)
~ Consult the list when the child is upset
~ Review the list each day to identify things the child did for positive emotions
Raising a Happy Child
~ Prevention
~ Develop psychological flexibility
Summary
~ An ounce of prevention…
~ By teaching children the skills we may not have learned until adulthood we can help them avoid developing unhelpful habits that contribute to anxiety and depression
~ It is important for parents to model these behaviors, not just “teach” them.
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